So much for the hiatus. Since I’m assigned to be around tellers and account officers, I think it would interesting to report what exactly goes on in a branch of a bank. In the Diary of a Teller, you’ll find strange stories, some exaggerated, some completely boring and mundane, and others insightful. Who knows what can take place in a bank? Now, to the first episode..
EP1 : PANIC!
Panic ensued as a stray cat found its way inside the bank today. The cat, having received a considerable sum in availing of its 4th life insurance benefit from dying in a fireworks exhibit yesterday at the Lunar New Year, was unable to reach for the deposit slips as it made its way into the branch. In a fit of rage, it terrorized one of the relationship managers at the bank and, forcing her to leave her desk, occupied one of the filing cabinets next to her.
Having just recovered from its fourth death, the estranged cat was unable to distinguish between a clear glass wall and an unblocked path. It jumped incessantly at the window, clawing at the glass trying to exit after its most unsatisfying banking attempt was met with failure. Yet all its attempts were met with failure as well, not to mention the sensation of polished tiled floors as it slid on its back during the landing of every jump. Distraught and melancholic, it rested once more on the filing cabinet. A sudden realization crept inside its mind: a new strategy should be in order.
Moments later, the jumping ensued.
Its eyes lit up at the implausibility and alien nature of the invisible barrier before him.
Two brave souls, the company janitors, armed with a most innocent and unassuming brown envelope and an eloquent arsenal of clever hisses and whistles, took the challenge to rid the branch of the infernal feline once and for all. Much to their horror, after attempting communication through their system of “cat calls”, their attempts were met by the ice-cold stare of a feline, who, in all probability, was as bewildered as they were. The cat’s eyes swept through their faces: discerning, questioning, mocking them.
The brown envelope, for all its innocence, only increased their confusion. And after a few moments, once more…
The cat jumped again.
“Feral beast!” one exclaimed as the two fled. To re-assess, no doubt. To re-evaluate! Clearly, what was before them was more than a simpleton easily ensnared by hisses, whistles, and irregular motions of brown paper envelopes, as far as the innocent ones go.
Lo! A few minutes of respite and they return! Armed with a six foot pole and a large cardboard box. Ah for the spirit of chivalry is far from dead within these walls! With lance and shield do these two brave souls face the dragon in its keep.
With caution the knights poked the cat, slowly shifting its weight towards the edge of the filing cabinet. The cat only stung them with its thousand yard stare. Seconds later the cat plummeted to the waxed floor, cowering in fear at the corner between the cabinet and the glass. The second knight advanced, box in hand, slowly closing in on the cat. Onlookers stood, checks and deposit slips dangling by their fingers, gazing at the spectacle with totally unremarkable expressions.
After some tense moments and curses from our knights, the infamous feline had been finally captured and held now inside its cardboard prison. Triumphant, one of our knights shoved the box along the floor and out through the door.
The smell of the cat remained, however, its damp, furry musk permeating the walls of the financial castle. But after a round of complaints and whining, everyone was back at their task as if nothing happened.
Thus concludes this week’s episode from the Diary of a Teller. Stay tuned next Tuesday for more exhilarating episodes of boredom and the mundane. Au revoir!
